faith like a dog

I know, I know, you're reading this because you think it's finally happened...I've finally gone off the deep-end by thinking I need faith like a dog.  I guess I should be more clear.  I'm not talking about any old dog.  I'm talking about my dog. 

We brought her home from a school picnic when she was just a pup.  We told my dad she was "free!" So obviously we needed to keep her!  (Ha, a free dog, now there's a laugh).   She is still living at my house, but she certainly has not been free.  In fact she's turned out to be more expensive than most.  Want to know why?  Cause my doggie's got problems.  I'm not talking emotional problems (well, I hope you could have guessed that much on your own) I'm talking physical problems.  She is allergic to EVERYTHING!  She has to have this special vegetarian dog food and we have to always keep her ears clean because they get infected a lot (okay, I'll stop grossing you out now). 

 

This is me, Abby, and Noah in our old backyard.

ANYWAY, the other night it was time for her ears to be cleaned.  She is incredibly smart, so she knew it was coming.  She ran to hide in the other room while we got the materials prepped.  When it was time, Mom called her name.  She poked her head around the corner, giving us a suspicious eye.  Mom said her name again and she came with her tail down.  She knew this was going to hurt.  But she didn't fight.  She just laid down and braced herself.  Mom did the hard part while I was just Abby's support system.  She laid perfectly still and let my mom do what she couldn't understand.  As I watched my dog gracefully submit to my mother's will I couldn't help but think how much she trusted us.  After all, she is a dog.  We can't explain to her that the medicine is necessary.  As smart as she is, she can't understand that.  Yet, she laid there and let my mom clean out her ears.

This lead me to the realization that it is the same with God.  That is, He does things that don't make any sense to us.  As smart as He made us, we just can't understand Him.  Yet, we have to trust Him.  We must trust His character.  We must trust His heart.  Submission is never a fun thing.  It is not something we enjoy doing.  It is hard.  It requires a lot of trust. I want to trust God the way Abby trusts my mom.  My mom's intention in cleaning her ears is never to bring pain, but always to bring healing.  I think even after all these years Abby doesn't understand, but she keeps submitting.  She trusts us so much that she doesn't even put up much of a fight.  Can you imagine what God could do with us if we trusted Him that much?  If we trusted Him to the point of not even questioning our pain?  

Man, the possibilities are endless. 

p.s. here is a picture of my doggie today.  she is a lot older now, but i love her to pieces!

*I promise we don't abuse my dog.  We only do what we were instructed to do by the veterinarian.

Rest

Sorry it's been a decade since I wrote in here last.

Though, I'm not sure anyone ever really reads this thing.  

But that's okay because I still like writing in it.

I'm finally home for a while.  Right after school got out I did quite a bit of traveling inside and outside the country.  The traveling was great, but I'm happy to be in the comfort of home again.  I've missed it.  There are so many things going on in my head which I could write about it.  But instead for now, I'll share with you the word I feel most pressed upon my every heart beat: rest.

I'm ready for some time of resting in the Lord.  Not passively, but actively resting.  Listening.  Watching.  Admiring.

He is awesome.

May our hearts and minds, thoughts and actions, all be for Him and Him alone.

I'll write again soon.

teach my song to rise to you

Verse 1:
Lord I come, I confess
Bowing here I find my rest
Without You I fall apart
You're the one that guides my heart

Chorus:
Lord, I need You, oh I need You
Every hour I need You
My one defense, my righteousness
Oh God, how I need You

Verse 2:
Where sin runs deep, Your grace is more
Where grace is found is where You are
And where You are Lord I am free
Holiness is Christ in me
Yes where You are Lord I am free
Holiness is Christ in me

Bridge:
So teach my song to rise to You
When temptation comes my way
And when I cannot stand I'll fall on You
Jesus You're my hope and stay
And when I cannot stand I'll fall on You
Jesus You're my hope and stay

Lord, I Need You by: Chris Tomlin

summer reading

I'm supposed to be finishing a research paper. How about a blog entry instead?! Yeah? Okay, I think so too! Summer is quickly approaching! Therefore, I submit to you my tentative summer reading list. Tentative because I am likely to add more as time goes on. It seems like I always have a list of books I want to read, but I never seem to read them! Last summer I was in summer school for the entire duration of my break...well okay, I had a week at the beginning and two weeks at the end, but still. However, this summer that is not the case! I really want to accomplish this guys! So I'm blogging about it. Go figure...

#1 The Hobbit by: J.R.R. Tolkien

I confess, I want to read this mostly due to a trip I'll be making to a certain movie theater in December. I read through part of the trilogy in high school, but I haven't read (or heard, rather) this book since I was a wee child. My dad would read it aloud to my older brother and I at night before we went to sleep. Anyway, it has been too long since I have acquainted myself with Mr. Tolkien. This summer, I intend to fix that.

#2 Soul Surfer by: Bethany Hamilton

This girl's story intrigues me on so many levels, seriously. I can't wait to get started on this one.

#3 Mockingjay by: Suzanne Collins

Yeah, I'm one of those people. My literacy professor talked and talked about them. So over Christmas I read the first two. I'm planning to knock out the third this summer. I have my fair share of opinions on these books. But for now, I'll just say that the similarities between the mentality of the Capitol and America literally makes me nauseous.

#4 Peter Pan by: J.M. Barrie

I love the stories of Peter Pan, but I have never read the book. This summer, I will change that.

#5 The Three Musketeers by: Alexandre Dumas

This is one of those books that I never read as a kid, but now I wish I knew the story. Therefore, I'm going to read it!

If all else fails, I'll revert to the classic Chronicles of Narnia by: C.S. Lewis. I've read those books too many times to count. Yet, they never get old.

Until next time...
Peace out, girl scout!

His love never fails

"Once you were alienated from God and were enemies in your minds because of your evil behavior. But now He has reconciled you by Christ's physical body through death to present you holy in His sight, without blemish and free from accusation" -Colossians 1:21-22

Reflections Part 1: Brought Back to Life

I attended a New Year's conference in Atlanta, GA this past January. Even though it is the middle of March, I am still trying to process everything I experienced and learned. But, I want to share my thought-process with you. I hope it encourages you. If you have any insight from all this, I would love to hear about it. While everything God did at the conference was huge and significant, the biggest thing to me personally was simply this: freedom.

I grew up in a church environment that taught: do good and God will love you, do bad and God will not love you (just to be clear allow me to say, that is an incorrect philosophy). But that is what I was taught, purposefully or not. When you live with a philosophy constantly thrown at you, it is really hard not to believe it. You just begin thinking it is true, or at least I did.

This past summer I picked up a sinful habit which quickly turned into an addiction. The grief that followed was intense. I couldn't stand myself. I hated myself. But I kept giving in to temptation. The enemy hammered me with lies such as "God's grace isn't enough for you. What makes you think He wants to save you? How could you betray Him like that!?" Among other things. I gave the enemy a foothold over my life, and it nearly killed me. God wouldn't let me go that easy though. He perused me in ways that I can see only now that those moments are in the past.

Anyway, back to Passion. I really didn't want to go. To be completely honest with you, I was afraid. I was afraid that God would not be there for me. I doubted Him. I remember the night before I was to leave and I was talking to my mom about it. I remember asking her if she thought it was bad that I just needed God to breathe life back into me. I was too ashamed to ask Him. I felt dead. I felt my faith had been shattered, and my belief in Jesus' saving power was pretty much nonexistent.

Then I got there. We went in. They did this thing where they read scripture with music and words on the screen, but I wasn't into it. I just felt numb all over. Then we worshiped with Chris Tomlin leading, and again I wasn't into it. I felt like there was this Grand-Canyon pit between me and God. I was beginning to regret my decision to come. Then this guy named Louie Giglio came out on the stage. Some of the first words out of his mouth were something like "Is there anybody here who feels like there's something in you you need to be brought back to life again?" My jaw dropped. I couldn't believe he said the exact thing I had been wrestling with since last summer. From that moment on, I knew God was going to do something huge in my life while I was at the Dome.

And He did not disappoint. He brought be back from the dead. He breathed life back into my very soul. That is why the things I experience at Passion is so much more than a spiritual high. Because it was not Passion. It was not the speakers. It was not the worship. While all that stuff was amazing and certainly a part of it, the biggest thing was that I had been reunited with my Jesus! He tore through my heart that week. I won't lie to you, a lot if it was very painful. It wasn't "fun" but it was good.

The month of January was good for me this year. God protected me from the world and the enemy as He continued to heal me with His healing balm. In February, the old feelings tried to creep back in. And things happened in my life that were hard.

Now, here in March, my faith is being rocked. My faith is being tested. I am struggling to keep believing Him and His words. And I do not use the word 'struggle' lightly. I've messed up again, and just like before it has grieved me. But I have to keep believing Him. We have to keep trusting Him. We have to keep our eyes fixed on Jesus.

His word to you is this:
"Behold child, you have been made clean."

Trust in His saving power. He is mighty to save. His blood has not run dry. His love has not run out. He is there. Waiting patiently for you to come. He loves you.



This song has encouraged me so much through my struggle to believe Him. May it encourage you.

"Once you were alienated from God and were enemies in your minds because of your evil behavior. But now He has reconciled you by Christ's physical body through death to present you holy in His sight, without blemish and free from accusation" -Colossians 1:21-22

72daysforfreedom.com

More on this to come...