Little Drummer Girl

I have had this nagging feeling since about September or October.

This feeling that it isn't enough.

Let me be honest, I've been struggling with my job.  Struggling yet unable to quite put my finger on the reason behind the struggle.

Perhaps it's living at home? Nope.

Perhaps it's the semi-adjustments to adult life? Wrong-O.

Perhaps it's the stress that comes with having a job?  Try again.

Perhaps it's the people you work with?  Not-it.

I've been searching for what it is that bothers me so much, and this December it has crashed right into my face and the flames are a-blazin'

It is the fact that I want more than what I am doing right now.  I want to do great things for God, and my job does not seem, feel or appear to be anything great.  I want to be worthy of Him.

Hmmm...did any of that catch your attention?  It should have, because its got pride written all over it.

I want to do great things for God.

Please tell me this one made you squirm.
Doing great things for God.  What a funny concept.  That we, the created, could do something that would impress the Creator.  I grew up in churches that sang this day in and day out.  They taught me "I could do things for God.  I could be a great worker for the kingdom of God."  The problem with that is the "I" at the beginning of each statement.  When it becomes more about me and less about God we have a problem. It is not I who do the great things, rather it is God who does them.  If I happen to be involved it is because "God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong" (1 Cor. 1:27).  If I'm involved in what God is doing it is because He uses weak things to show His strength.  And I am weak.

"There is a difference between trying to do things for God and doing things with God." -Beth Moore

I want to be worthy of Him.

I'm pretty sure I've struggled with this since I was born.  It's never going to happen, I know.  I keep trying to accept that.  Yet I keep failing.

As I said, my job has had me discouraged because it does not seem to be any big deal.  It doesn't appear that I'm making a difference in the world.  And I want to make a difference.  I can't see anything good I am doing.  And I want to do good.  I want my life to reflect Jesus.  There is pride mixed in with all of this. 

I finally broke one day, and confessed all this to Him.  Prayer and confession really are powerful things.



God orchestrated it so that I read my kids (uh-hem I mean students) a book based on the story of the little drummer boy.  You know the one, the kid ends up at the stable in Bethlehem with nothing to offer the King except his drum.  This kid (in the story book, not the bible) is in the presence of great people of the East.  The wise men.  They have gold, frankincense, and myrrh.  What does he have? Only a puny little drum.   So he plays his best and baby Jesus smiles.

It is a miracle I made it through the book without losing it right then and there.  Because it hit me, as I sat there reading to the fourteen five & six year olds who hold my heart, I am the boy with the drum.

I am realizing more and more, I have nothing of worth to offer Him.
I don't have gifts that are fit for my King.
And instead of looking at Him, I've been distracted.  Distracted by all the gifts I see around me that look and feel so much grander than my own.

My sin, my home, my job, my life; these are the things I can offer.  I can give Him these things today.  And though they are not worthy of Him, He will accept them.  Because He knows.  Because He died and rose again.  Because He loves me.  Even though I struggle daily to love Him back.

Therefore I urge you, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship. -Romans 12:1

This is the picture of God's grace I'm stumbling through right now.

God's Grace. 

What a wild concept.

 Hebrews 4:16 Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.

Romans 3:20-24 For by works of the law no human being will be justified in his sight, since through the law comes knowledge of sin. But now the righteousness of God has been manifested apart from the law, although the Law and the Prophets bear witness to it — the righteousness of God through faith in Jesus Christ for all who believe. For there is no distinction: for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified by his grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus

Romans 5:1-2 Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God.

Ephesians 2:4-9 But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ— by grace you have been saved—and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast.

Thankfulness

It seems as though with each passing year I become more and more aware of my blessings.  I become more and more conscience of how blessed I am.

But this Thanksgiving season has been heavy.

I know people who died this year.
I know there are families around hospital beds instead of thanksgiving tables.
There are people who dread the holidays because of the abuse, neglect, and unloving atmosphere the word "home" creates.
I know there will be children that will be hungry instead of full on Thursday afternoon.

I have been almost hyper-aware of the broken state of our world this fall.

Our world is broken, messed up, and sometimes just down right ugly.

There is not an insta-cure.

We cannot fix it.

And it breaks my heart.

So when I read something like this...
 "Rejoice always, pray continually,  give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus." -1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

...it leaves me feeling a bit frustrated.  

Give thanks in all circumstances? Really?  What about when the circumstances are bad?  What about when the circumstances get worse?  How in the world do you do that?
How do you rejoice when your heart is broken?  Give thanks when you feel robbed?


How?

The verse in 1 Thessalonians does not say: "give thanks for all circumstances."  Instead it says "in all circumstances."  

I think therein lies the key to understanding this verse.   The key is to keep your focus upward.  To keep your focus on God and not your circumstances.  Like Peter when he walked on the water we have to keep our eyes fixed upon Jesus, not the storms we find ourselves in.

We don't look to what is seen, but to what is unseen (2 Cor. 5:7).  Therefore, we have hope.  Therefore, we eagerly rejoice.  We rejoice in Jesus.  In who He is and what He has done.  We rejoice with truth.
We rejoice because we are loved by God Almighty.

Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, let us be thankful, and so worship God acceptably with reverence and awe -Hebrews 12:28

This Thanksgiving, I'm thankful for the things God has given me.  
I'm thankful my mom survived another surgery, and is alive and well.
I'm thankful to be with my family. 
I'm thankful for the late night cards games,
and giggles of little cousins playing hide and seek.
I'm thankful to have a home with people who love me
and is continually filled with laughter.  

This Thanksgiving, it's going to be a good one.
The turkey is cooking and the places at the table are numerous.

Yet I pray that when the things on earth fade away, I remember.  I pray I remember the real reason I can celebrate.  The real reason I have to be thankful.  Not because of circumstances, but because of Someone who died for me.

I can be thankful, always.  In all circumstances because my King is.  Therefore, I will rejoice.

Happy Thanksgiving.

My Berry Expereince: The CDC

No, I'm not talking about the center for disease control.  I'm talking about Berry's Child Development Center.

It's hard for me to put into words what this place means to me.  This post is going to be short, and not do justice to what is in my heart.  But I can't reflect on my time at Berry without my mind going back to this space.

The number of times I would be so stressed I couldn't see straight during my time at Berry is unfathomable.  I'll be honest, I had some hard days and dealt with some ugly stuff.  But by the grace of God I would go into one of those cottage classrooms and be met by three and four year old faces looking up at me.  So somehow all that stress from a moment ago would melt away.  He used those little guys to keep me going.  To energize me and give me a good laugh.

I can't even begin to describe everything God taught me there.  There is so much it might take me a whole week to write it all out.  He taught me more about Himself.  He taught me more about myself.  To top it off, He gave me little sneak peeks into His heart through those precious kiddos.

It was in this place He confirmed what His direction on my life would be. 


I am thankful God lead me to Berry for many reasons, but a big one is because of this preschool.

I was only able to find one other post about my job.  But it pretty much captures the kind of things God revealed to me regularly while I was there.

Really, the only words I have left are to God be the glory.

My Berry Experience: The Road to an Unwanted Destination

This is the first of probably multiple posts about the best college in the world.

Tonight it sank in a little more that it's real.

It's really coming to a close.

I'm sure tomorrow and Saturday will be similar experiences, but man.

I can't believe I'm almost done with college.

In less than 48 hours I'll be alumni.

 Whew, what a crazy wild ride it has been. 

 People made lists about things they love/memories of their experiences at Berry.

Cecily shared them with all of us.

It flooded my mind with memories.

It really seems like ages ago that I got a flyer in the mail showing this beautiful campus.

I was a sophomore in high school.

It was BEAUTIFUL.

I couldn't believe the gorgeous architecture of the school.

I want to go there.

This was the thought on my mind.

I held onto the flyer.

Tucked it away in a box and kept it safe.

Then senior year of high school happened.

It was time to pick a next step.  

I was still interested in that beautiful school on the flyer from the mail.

A Berry rep came to my high school to try and convince us Berry was the place for us.

BUT, they didn't have my major.

And they were expensive,

REALLY expensive.

A college road trip with my Padre ensued.

Filled with pizza, old radio theater, and lots of driving.

We went to several schools,

but I only remember two:

West Florida

and Berry.

West Florida was amazing.  They had an incredible marine biology program.  Their description of the labs I would get to do made my mouth water.  And it was close to the beach!  You have to understand, I had wanted to be a marine scientist from the time I was 3 years old.  I never changed my mind about what I wanted to do.  I was not on of those kids who went back and forth.  I knew what I wanted, and I was going to go after it with everything inside me.

 

 Then we went to Berry.

I only remember two things about my first visit.

1) One of the professors I talked to was a jerk.  He strongly discouraged me from pursuing marine biology, and I did not appreciate it.  Which of course, made me want to that much more.  This really put a sour taste in my mouth for Berry.  I mean, if they were going to try and dictate what I did, why would I want that!?

2) My tour guide.  He was from England.  Enough said.

I was at a complete loss about what to do.  I loved the opportunities I would have at UWF, but I couldn't quit thinking about Berry.

Berry had this "Night with the Stars" at the Space in Rocket Center in my hometown.  I went and met what felt like everyone on staff in the admissions office.  

This involved lots of listening.

I decided to give Berry another shot and I visited again for "Decision Berry."  I met some people who later became my classmates.   I did some more listening, went on another tour, and talked to some more admissions people.

Still undecided...

Then, I chose.

I started packing to move to the biggest campus in the world.

I began my summer reading of An Ordinary Man by Paul Ruseabagina

and stepped foot on campus for the most craziest/awesome-est SOAR ever.

It blows my mind to think about how much I have changed since then.  I believe God lets us make our own choices, but I also believe He knows what we are going to choose to do.  I credit Him for paving the way to this remarkable place.

I would not change my decision for anything.

Little did I know, God had huge things in store for me over the next four years.

#truth

1) God is who He says He is

2) God can do what He says He can do

3) I am who God says I am

4) I can do all things through Christ

5) God's word is alive and active in me

For those of us in Christ, we are...

blessed.chosen.adopted. 

accepted.redeemed.forgiven.

1 Peter 5:6-11

⁶ Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. ⁷ Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

⁸ Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. ⁹ Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings.

¹⁰ And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.¹¹ To him be the power for ever and ever. Amen.

 

 

Lead Me Back To You

Sometimes there are songs that you really love.

Other times there are songs you couldn't love less.

There are goods songs for running,

sleeping,

or driving down the highway.  

For me, these songs are all a little different.

But every once in a while,

you come across a song that hits close to home.

Maybe this is your favorite song ever.

Or maybe its a great worship song.

In a way, my life feels like it was turned upside down yesterday.

Not because it was my last day of college (though that is amazing),

but because a piece of my heart broke.

This was a song I found yesterday after that has completely swamped me.

The lyrics have become my prayer.

Hallelujah, He is mighty to save.

I got this feeling in my bones
That I need You more than I know
Yeah, I’ve been trying to do this alone
Trying to make it here on my own

It’s funny how I believe the lies every time
That I gotta run from You tonight

Tell me that Your hands are strong enough to hold me
Tell me that Your hands are merciful and true
Tell me that Your hands are wide enough for the wandering of my heart
And strong enough to bring me back to You

Why is it so hard to see
Lord I’m here now, and down on my knees
I’m down on my knees
God, I’m feeling so weak and so desperate for You to speak
Will You speak?

Come and chase away the lies
Won’t you silence them tonight

Tell me that Your hands are strong enough to hold me
Tell me that Your hands are merciful and true
Tell me that Your hands are wide enough for the wandering of my heart
And strong enough to bring me back to You

Hallelujah, You are
Hallelujah, You are
Hallelujah, You are strong

Hallelujah, You are
Hallelujah, You are
Hallelujah, You are love

Tell me that Your hands are strong enough to hold me
Tell me that Your hands are merciful and true
Tell me that Your hands are wide enough for the wandering of my heart
And strong enough to bring me back to You

 

Psalm 104

"...He makes grass grow for the cattle,

and plants for man to cultivate -

 ...the birds make their nests;

 

the stork has its home in the pine trees...

 the high mountains belong to the wild goats;

the crags are a refuge for the coneys.

 

The moon marks off the seasons, and the sun knows when to go down.

 

 You bring darkness, it becomes night, and all the beasts of the forest prowl.

The lions roar for their prey and seek their food from God.

The sun rises, and they steal away; they return and lie down in their dens...

 How many are your works, O Lord!

In wisdom, You made them all;

the earth is full of your creatures.

There is the sea, vast and spacious,

 

teeming with creatures beyond number

 

living things both large...

 

and small...  

 

...These all look to You to give them their food at the proper time.  

When You give it to them, 

they gather it up; 

when you open your hand, 

they are satisfied with good things...

May the glory of the Lord endure forever; 

may the Lord rejoice in His works - 

He who looks at the earth and it trembles, 

who touches the mountains, and they smoke...

Praise the Lord, O my soul.

Praise the Lord."

 Happy belated Earth Day.

Persevere!

I'm not really sure when it happened.  Sometime over the last week it hit me that I'm about to leave Berry, my home for the past four years.  

I still remember the day I moved in freshman year.  I met the precious girl I had the privilege of living with until the end of my junior year.  

 I remember my first church service on campus.

I remember my first campus event,

my first class,

and my first day of work.

Then I thought about how much God has done in me during my days on this campus.

He has humbled me.

He broke through some dark, bitter roots in my heart.

He healed me.

He taught me about His birds.

He showed me how to love when it's difficult.

This list doesn't even really begin to scratch the surface of my college experience, but hopefully it gives you a little bit of an idea.  

God has changed me a LOT.

I will graduate from this beautiful place in a short 17 days from now.

That is a crazy thought.

Especially when I consider how many times I wanted to quit.  

Let me just tell you, it was a LOT of times.

I came really close to leaving.

Out of fear,

out of selfishness,

and out of just pure discontentment.

But by the grace of God, He sustained me and faithfully gave me the strength to endure the trials I've faced during my time here.

Some days were very long.

Sometimes it felt like it would never really be over.

Graduation felt 100 years away.

And yet,

it will be here very soon.

 I'll put on that robe and my cords.  

I'll walk across that stage when my name is called

and it will be finished.

So what is my point in all of this?

My point is this:

"Do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded.  You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God you will receive what He has promised.  For in just a very little while, He who is coming will come and will not delay.  But my righteous one will live by faith.  And if he shrinks back I will not be pleased with him." -Hebrews 10:35-38

Perseverance.

It's a difficult concept.

A great idea,

but hard to do.

Jesus said "Behold!  I am coming soon!" (Revelation 22:7)

I'm here today to tell you that He will come back soon.

He is coming.

So if your days feel long 

and you just keep wishing whatever fire you're in right now was over already;

take heart and be encouraged that He will not delay. 

He is coming back for you.

Keep going at whatever He has given you to do!

Don't give up. 

 

Because one day, 

those who's names are written in the Book of Life will see the One with a robe reaching down to His feet and a golden sash around His chest (Rev. 1:13).  

The One who said 2,000 years ago "it is finished" (John 19:30). 

This life will soon be over, so keep going!

It may feel like a bottomless pit that just keeps taking things from you, but one day you'll wake up and realize your time is up.

Persevere.

It will be worth it if you have Jesus.  

Promise.

 

"[God] has made my days a mere handbreadth; the span of my years is as nothing before you.  Each man's life is but a breath."  

- Psalm 39:5 

He chose us

For this reason the Father loves me, because I lay down my life that I may take it up again. No one takes it from Me, but I lay it down of My Own accord. I have authority to lay it down, and I have authority to take it up again. This charge I have received from My Father. 

(John 10:17–18)

Why does Jesus say this? Why does he stress his willingness to die? Because if it weren’t true—if his death were forced on him, if it weren’t free, if his heart weren’t really in it—then a big question mark would be put over his love for us. The depth of his love is in its freedom. If he didn’t die for us willingly—if he didn’t choose the suffering and embrace it—then how deep is his love, really? So he stresses it. He makes it explicit. It comes out of me, not out of circumstances, not out of pressure, but out of what I really long to do.

Jesus is stressing to us that his love for us is free. He seems to hear some enemy slander saying, “Jesus doesn’t really love you. He’s a mercenary. He’s in it for some other reason than love. He’s under some kind of constraint or external compulsion. He doesn’t really want to die for you. He’s just got himself somehow into this job and has to submit to the forces controlling him.” Jesus seems to hear something like that, or anticipate it. And he responds, “No one takes it from me, but I lay it down of my own accord. I have authority to lay it down, and I have authority to take it up again.” So he is pressing this on us to see if we will believe his protest of love, or if we will believe the opposite—that his heart is really not in this. Anybody who makes a statement like that is either mentally deranged, or lying, or God. 

I have authority from inside death, as a dead man, to take life back again, when I please. Now what’s the point here? Well, which is harder: to control when you die, or to give yourself life again once you are dead? Which is harder: to say, “I lay my life down on my own initiative”? Or to say, “I will take my life back again after I am dead”?

The answer is obvious. And that’s the point. If Jesus could—and did—take his life back again from the dead, then he was free indeed. If he controlled when he came out of the grave, he certainly controlled when he went into the grave. So here’s the point. The resurrection of Jesus is given to us as the confirmation or evidence that he was indeed free in laying down his life. And so the resurrection is Christ’s testimony to the freedom of his love.

Of all the great things that Easter means, it also means this: it is a mighty “I meant it!” behind Christ’s death. I meant it! I was free. You see how free I am? You see how much power and authority I have? I was able to avoid it. I have power to take up my life out of the grave. And could I not, then, have devastated my enemies and escaped the cross?

My resurrection is a shout over my love for my sheep: It was free! It was free! I chose it. I embraced it. I was not caught. I was not cornered. Nothing can constrain me to do what I do not choose to do. I had power to take my life from death. And I have taken my life from death. How much more, then, could I have kept my life from death! I am alive to show you that I really loved you. I freely loved you. Nobody forced me to it. And I am now alive to spend eternity loving you with omnipotent resurrection love forever and ever.

Come to me, all you sinners who need a Savior. And I will forgive you and accept you and love you with all my heart forevermore.

John Piper

© Desiring God.

Website: desiringGod.org

 

 

 Do you think I cannot call on my Father, and He will at once put at My disposal more than twelve legions of angels?

(Matthew 26:53)

 

He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before Him.

(Ephesians 1:4) 

 

He did it for you.  Happy Resurrection Day, my friends.

He is risen.

He is risen, indeed.

side note: i really like the song in this video...

and darkness covered the land

²⁶ As the soldiers led him away, they seized Simon from Cyrene, who was on his way in from the country, and put the cross on him and made him carry it behind Jesus. ²⁷ A large number of people followed him, including women who mourned and wailed for him. ²⁸ Jesus turned and said to them, “Daughters of Jerusalem, do not weep for me; weep for yourselves and for your children. ²⁹ For the time will come when you will say, ‘Blessed are the childless women, the wombs that never bore and the breasts that never nursed!’ ³⁰ Then

“‘they will say to the mountains, “Fall on us!”
    and to the hills, “Cover us!”’

³¹ For if people do these things when the tree is green, what will happen when it is dry?”

³² Two other men, both criminals, were also led out with him to be executed. ³³ When they came to the place called the Skull, they crucified him there, along with the criminals—one on his right, the other on his left. ³⁴ Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” And they divided up his clothes by casting lots.

³⁵ The people stood watching, and the rulers even sneered at him. They said, “He saved others; let him save himself if he is God’s Messiah, the Chosen One.”

³⁶ The soldiers also came up and mocked him. They offered him wine vinegar ³⁷ and said, “If you are the king of the Jews, save yourself.”

³⁸ There was a written notice above him, which read: this is the king of the jews.

³⁹ One of the criminals who hung there hurled insults at him: “Aren’t you the Messiah? Save yourself and us!”

⁴⁰ But the other criminal rebuked him. “Don’t you fear God,” he said, “since you are under the same sentence? ⁴¹ We are punished justly, for we are getting what our deeds deserve. But this man has done nothing wrong.”

⁴² Then he said, “Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom.”

⁴³ Jesus answered him, “Truly I tell you, today you will be with me in paradise.”

⁴⁴ It was now about noon, and darkness came over the whole land until three in the afternoon,⁴⁵ for the sun stopped shining. And the curtain of the temple was torn in two.⁴⁶ Jesus called out with a loud voice, “Father, into your hands I commit my spirit.” When he had said this, he breathed his last.

 

Luke 23:26-46

He is Trustworthy

“I am telling you this now, before it takes place, that when it does take place you may believe that I am he.”
(John 13:19)

Jesus himself taught that all the prophecies about him would be fulfilled. In other words, we have a testimony, not only that the writers themselves saw Jesus’s life as fulfillment of prophecy, but that Jesus did, too. For example, in Luke 22:37, Jesus says, “I tell you that this Scripture must be fulfilled in me: ‘And he was numbered with the transgressors.’ For what is written about me has its fulfillment” (see Isaiah 53:12). Jesus saw that the predictions of the Messiah and his sufferings would be fulfilled in himself.

Jesus took up the principle of John 13:19 and foretold numerous details of what was going to happen to him so that we might believe when they happened. “He began to teach them that the Son of Man must suffer many things and be rejected by the elders and the chief priests and the scribes and be killed, and after three days rise again” (Mark 8:31). Jesus saw the predictions of the Messiah and
his sufferings being fulfilled in himself. 

› He foresaw that his death would be by crucifixion (John 3:14, 12:32).

› He predicted that the disciples would find an unridden colt when they entered the town (Luke 19:30).

› When the disciples entered Jerusalem that last Thursday, he predicted they would meet a man with the water pitcher who would have a room for them to meet in (Luke 22:10).

› After three years of waiting, he knew the exact hour of his departure out of the world (John 13:1).

› Jesus knew that he would be betrayed, and who would betray him, and when it would happen (John 6:64, 13:1; Matthew 26:2, 21).

› He knew and predicted the fact and the time of Peter’s three denials (Matthew 26:34).

› Jesus predicted that the disciples would all fall away and be scattered (Matthew 26:31; John 16:32; Zechariah 13:7).

› Jesus prophesied that he would be “lifted up from the earth” (John 12:32). That is, he would not be stoned  but crucified—not by Jews but by Romans. So the decisions of Pilate and the Jews of how to dispose of him were a fulfillment of his prediction. 

He makes all these predictions, according to John 13:19, so that we would believe he is God, that what he says about himself is true. In other words, Jesus is saying, “If you are struggling to believe that I am the promised Messiah, that I am the one who was in the beginning with God and was God (John 1:1), that I am the divine Son of God, who can forgive all your sins and give you eternal life and guide you on the path to heaven, then I want to help you believe. And one of the ways I am going to help you have wellgrounded faith is by telling you what is going to happen to me before it happens, so that when it happens, you will have good reason to believe in me.”

-John Piper

© Desiring God.

Website: desiringGod.org

the depth of His love

While we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. For one will scarcely die for a righteous person—though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die—but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. 

(Romans 5:6–8)

As I have pondered the love of Christ for us, and the different ways that the Bible presents it to us, I have seen four ways that the depth of Christ’s love is revealed.
 

First, we know the depth of someone’s love for us by what it costs him. If he sacrifices his life for us, it assures us of deeper love than if he only sacrifices a few bruises. So we will see the depth of Christ’s love by the greatness of what it cost him.

Second, we know the depth of someone’s love for us by how little we deserve it. If we have treated him well all our life, and have done all that he expects of us, then when he loves us, it will not prove as much love as it would if he loved us when we had offended him, and shunned him, and disdained him. The more undeserving we are, the more amazing and deep is his love for us. So we will see the depth of Christ’s love in relation to how undeserving are the objects of his love (Romans 5:5–8).

Third, we know the depth of someone’s love for us by the greatness of the benefits we receive in being loved. If we are helped to pass an exam, we will feel loved in one way. If we are helped to get a job, we will feel loved another way. If we are helped to escape from an oppressive captivity and given freedom for the rest of our life, we will feel loved another way. And if we are rescued from eternal torment and given a place in the presence of God with fullness of joy and pleasures forevermore, we will know a depth of love that surpasses all others (1 John 3:1–3). So we will see the depth of Christ’s love by the greatness of the benefits we receive in being loved by him.
 

Fourth, we know the depth of someone’s love for us by the freedom with which they love us. If a person does good things for us because someone is making him, when he doesn’t really want to, then we don’t think the love is very deep. Love is deep in proportion to its liberty. So if an insurance company pays you $40,000 because you lose your spouse, you don’t usually marvel at how much this company loves you. There were legal constraints. But if your Sunday School class makes all your meals for a month after your spouse dies, and someone calls you every day, and visits you every week, then you call it love, because they don’t have to do this. It is free and willing. So we will see the depth of Christ’s love for us in his freedom: “No one takes my life from me; I lay it down of my own accord” (John 10:18).

To push this truth to the limit, let me quote for you a psalm that the New Testament applies to Jesus (Hebrews 10:9). It refers to his coming into the world to offer himself as a sacrifice for sin: “I delight to do your will, O my God” (Psalm 40:8). The ultimate freedom is joy. He rejoiced to do his redeeming work for us. The physical pain of the cross did not become physical pleasure. But Jesus was sustained through it all by joy. He really, really wanted to save us. To gather for himself a happy, holy, praising people. He displayed his love like a husband yearning for a beloved bride (Ephesians 5:25–33).

-John Piper

© Desiring God.

Website: desiringGod.org

He Set His Face for Jerusalem

"When the days drew near for him to be taken up, he set his face to go to Jerusalem. And he sent messengers ahead of him, who went and entered a village of the Samaritans, to make preparations for him. But the people did not receive him, because his face was set toward Jerusalem. And when his disciples James and John saw it, they said, “Lord, do you want us to tell fire to come down from heaven and consume them?” But he turned and rebuked them. And they went on to another village."
(Luke 9:51–56)

In Luke 9:51–56, we learn how not to understand Palm Sunday. To set his face towards Jerusalem meant something very different for Jesus than it did for the disciples. You can see the visions of greatness that danced in their heads in verse 46: “An argument arose among them as to which of them was the greatest.” Jerusalem and glory were just around the corner. O what it would mean when Jesus took the throne! But Jesus had another vision in his head. One wonders how he carried it all alone and for so long. Here’s what Jerusalem meant for Jesus: “I must go on my way today and tomorrow and the day following, for it cannot be that a prophet should perish away from Jerusalem” (Luke 13:33). Jerusalem meant one thing for Jesus: certain death. Nor was he under any illusion of a quick and heroic death. He predicted in Luke 18:31–33: “See, we are going up to Jerusalem, and everything that is written about the Son of Man by the prophets will be accomplished. For he will be delivered over to the Gentiles and will be mocked and shamefully treated and spit upon. And after flogging him, they will kill him.” When Jesus set his face to go to Jerusalem, he set his face to die.

Remember, when you think of Jesus’s resolution to die, that he had a nature like ours. He shrunk back from pain like we do. He would have enjoyed marriage and children and grandchildren and a long life and esteem in the community. He had a mother and brothers and sisters. He had special places in the mountains. To turn his back on all this, and set his face towards vicious whipping and beating and spitting and mocking and crucifixion, was not easy. It was hard.

We need to use our imagination to put ourselves back into his place and feel what he felt. I don’t know of any other way for us to begin to know how much he loved us. “Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends” (John 15:13). If we were to look at Jesus’s death merely as a result of a betrayer’s deceit and the Sanhedrin’s envy and Pilate’s spinelessness and the soldiers’ nails and spear, it might seem very involuntary. And the benefit of salvation that comes to us who believe might be viewed as God’s way of making a virtue out of a necessity. But once you read Luke 9:51, all such thoughts vanish.

Jesus was not accidentally entangled in a web of injustice. The saving benefits of his death for sinners were not an afterthought. God planned it all out of infinite love to sinners like us, and He appointed a time. Jesus, who was the very embodiment of his Father’s love for sinners, saw that the time had come and set his face to fulfill his mission: to die in Jerusalem for our sake. “No one takes my life from me,” Jesus said, “I lay it down of my own accord” (John 10:18).

-John Piper

© Desiring God.

Website: desiringGod.org

Seeing the King on Palm Sunday

 As he approached Bethphage and Bethany at the hill called the Mount of Olives, he sent two of his disciples, saying to them, “Go to the village ahead of you, and as you enter it, you will find a colt tied there, which no one has ever ridden. Untie it and bring it here. If anyone asks you, ‘Why are you untying it?’ say, ‘The Lord needs it.’”  Those who were sent ahead went and found it just as he had told them.  As they were untying the colt, its owners asked them, “Why are you untying the colt?”

They brought it to Jesus, threw their cloaks on the colt and put Jesus on it.As he went along, people spread their cloaks on the road.When he came near the place where the road goes down the Mount of Olives, the whole crowd of disciples began joyfully to praise God in loud voices for all the miracles they had seen:  

“Blessed is the king who comes in the name of the Lord!”

“Peace in heaven and glory in the highest!”

 Some of the Pharisees in the crowd said to Jesus, “Teacher, rebuke your disciples!” “I tell you,” he replied, “if they keep quiet, the stones will cry out.” As he approached Jerusalem and saw the city, he wept over it and said, “If you, even you, had only known on this day what would bring you peace—but now it is hidden from your eyes. The days will come upon you when your enemies will build an embankment against you and encircle you and hem you in on every side.  They will dash you to the ground, you and the children within your walls. They will not leave one stone on another, because you did not recognize the time of God’s coming to you.”

-Luke 19:29-44

 
“Fear not, little flock, for it is your Father’s good pleasure to give you the kingdom.” 

(Luke 12:32)

"Today is Palm Sunday. We picture ourselves welcoming the King into our city and into our hearts. He tries to make his intentions known by coming, not on a great stallion, but on a lowly donkey, meek and humble. I wonder how many here look upon this lowly Servant- King and feel that this is just a thin veneer, and that beneath this lowly exterior there is a terrible power and authority which is just waiting to burst out against you if you slip in any way. I wonder how many feel that it is not really the deepest pleasure of this King’s heart to serve his people and meet their needs.

I wonder how many feel that he’s riding this donkey of lowliness as a kind of camouflage. And once he gains a foothold, he will throw off his rags, pull out his sword, and storm forth to do what he really loves to do, namely, judge and destroy. Of course, some will be saved—the few who somehow could please him. But that is not his heart’s desire. He is basically angry—always angry. And the best we can do is stay out of his way, and maybe, if we keep the rules well enough, we could sneak by him when he is in one of his temporary good moods. God’s Deepest Delight

Jesus is at pains to help you not feel that way about God. And I want to draw your attention to one verse, namely, Luke 12:32, because every little piece of this verse is intended to help take away the fear that Jesus knows we struggle with, namely, that God begrudges his benefits, that he is constrained and out of character when he does nice things, that at bottom he is angry and loves to vent his anger.

Luke 12:32 is a verse about the nature of God. It’s a verse about what kind of heart God has. It’s a verse about what makes God glad—not merely about what God will do or what he has to do, but what he delights to do, what he loves to do, and what he takes pleasure in doing. “Fear not, little flock, for it is your Father’s good pleasure to give you the kingdom.” The phrase “good pleasure,” is a verb in Greek: “to be a pleasure” or “to be pleased by.” You could translate it: “It pleased God,” or, “God chose it gladly.” In other words, God is not acting in this generous way in order to cloak and hide some malicious motive. The word “good pleasure” utterly rules that out. He is not saying inside, “I will have to be generous for a while even though I don’t want to be, because what I really want to do is bring judgment on sinners.”

The Lord’s meaning is inescapable: God is acting here in freedom. He is not under constraint to do what he doesn’t really want to do. At this very point, when he gives his flock the kingdom, he is acting out his deepest delight. This is what the word means: God’s joy, his desire, his want and wish and hope and pleasure and gladness and delight, is to give the kingdom to his flock. "

-John Piper

© Desiring God.

Website: desiringGod.org

Happy first day of spring!!!

Praise the Lord! For the Lord is good; sing praises to His name, for He is gracious and lovely!
-Psalm 135:3

All the single ladies...

If you are single, do yourself  a favor and spend a few minutes reading this article.

Blessings.

fix your eyes

” We were made for God.  Only by being in some respect like Him, only by being a manifestation of His beauty, loving-kindness, wisdom or goodness, has any earthy beloved excited our love.  It is not that we have loved them too much, but that we did not quite understand what we were loving.  When we see the face of God we shall know that we have always known it.  He has made, sustained and moved moment by moment within, all our earthly experiences of innocent love.  All that was true love in them, was, even on earth, far more His than ours, and ours only because His.  In heaven there will be no anguish and no duty of turning away from our earthly beloveds.  First, because we shall have turned already; from the portraits to the Original, from the rivulets to the Fountain, from the creatures He made lovable to Love Himself!  But secondly, because we shall find them all in Him.  By loving Him more than them we shall love them more than we do now.”

- CS Lewis.

when my heart is overwhelmed

lead me to the Rock

that is higher than I

psalm 61:2

Trust

"You can trust Me"

That is what He said at the beginning of this year.  He has made it explicitly clear that this year I am going to learn to trust Him.  He has never given me a word for "the year" before, but He decided that 2013 is going to be a year of trust.

 

I've been struggling through laying things down at the cross lately.  He's pointed things out that I'm holding onto, but no matter how hard I try I can't seem to let them go.  My knuckles are white from holding them so tightly.

Things like my family,

my present trials,

my future,

my life.

How can I let Him have those things?  He hasn't promised to give them back to me.  Maybe if I keep holding onto them, He'll decide to promise that before I let them go. 

These are the thoughts of my heart.  

I've been carrying around this heavy burden of worry.  

Worry that I'm going to wake up to disaster one day.

Worry that I won't get that little slip of paper known as my college degree, 

and my life will fall to pieces.

Worry that I'm not good enough.

Worry that it just isn't going to happen.

Those are the things on the surface of my heart that I worry about.  But I realized today that seeded deep underneath each of them is a doubt in God.

Worry that He'll decide to leave me.

Worry that He doesn't hold my future.

Worry that His blood wasn't enough.

Worry that He will forget me.

Those worries are a lot tougher.

But they are there.

Hidden deep inside me.

 

Initially it can be a really discouraging feeling to realize you have so much doubt like I did at the beginning of 2013.  But this is what I'm learning... My "heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure.  Who can understand it?"  (Jeremiah 17:9)

My heart is deceitful.  Meaning, those worries are nothing but a bunch of lies.

The next verse in Jeremiah says "I the Lord search the heart and examine the mind, to reward a man according to his conduct, according to what his deeds deserve."

 

So, my heart is deceitful and the Lord knows it.

The next verse my mind automatically goes to is Hebrews 12:5-6:

"my son, do not make light of the Lord's discipline, and do not lose heart when He rebukes you, because the Lord disciplines those He loves, and He punishes everyone He accepts as a son."

"...the Lord disciplines those He loves..."

That is an incredibly comforting thought when you feel like you're in the middle of some discipline.  My heart is taunting my mind with thoughts of worry, and the Lord knows and is dealing with it.  What a faithful God we serve.

Even in the midst of a rebellious mind that I feel like I can't control, God is taking it and using it to make me more like Him.  He is refining it out of me.

 

He is teaching me to trust Him.

He's doing a bit of heart surgery on this old heart of mine

and boy is it painful.

But glory to Him,

 He's holding my hand every step of the way.

 

"Know therefore that the Lord your God is God; He is the faithful God, keeping His covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love Him and keep His commands."  -Deuteronomy 7:9

the 23rd psalm

This has been my life verse lately:

The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. 

He makes me lie down in green pastures.
He leads me beside still waters.

  He restores my soul.
He leads me in paths of righteousness
    for his name's sake.

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
    I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
    your rod and your staff,
    they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me

    in the presence of my enemies;
you anoint my head with oil;
    my cup overflows.

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me
    all the days of my life,
and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord
    forever.

Clinging to the promises of Him who is faithful.

Glory to God.

Passion 2013: the hard part

I should probably warn you that this post is not exactly the most chipper.  So, you should read to the end if you're going to read it.  It has a good ending!

Last Monday I was an absolute wreck.  My plans for the week were falling apart before my very eyes, and it literally made me sick with worry. 

It was the week I had been looking forward to all year.  It was Passion week at the Georgia Dome.

Last year, Jesus brought me back to Himself and resurrected my very soul during the conference.  This year, I wanted to experience His presence.  I wanted to dwell on Him without ceasing.  I just wanted more of Him.

When I thought it wasn't going to happen because of financial issues I was crushed.  It upset me so badly I decided I did not want to go.  My worry and stress was just too much and the evil one harped his lies upon my every thought.  I wasn't going to go.

Then, the situation worked out.  I could go now.  (Glory to God for that!)

I arrived at the Dome and was pleasantly surprised to find that I could move around without rubbing elbows with 10 other people at once (that is how it was last year).  It was going to be amazing!  The evil one had put numerous obstacles in my path to arrive there, and by the grace of God I had made it.

The conference began, and I was simply beaming with excited anticipation.

Then, nothing. No word from Him into my life.  No deep feeling of the Spirit's glorious presence.

I was a little disappointed that it didn't feel as glorious as last year.  But hey, it was only the first night.  God must be going to speak in a mighty way in the morning...

The next day came.  The morning and afternoon of that day consisted of being sick and continued disappointment.  60,000 people were experiencing what I so desperately wanted.  The presence of the Lord.  The evil one continued to throw lies in my face.  "This is not like last year" I thought.  "Last year I knew that God was going to do amazing things by the first night.  Last year He spoke words of comfort into my life.  Last year He breathed life into me again and refreshed my soul.  Where is He now?  What is going on?"  I continued to feel discouraged.  Then, the real sting came.  Francis Chan talked in the evening about trusting God.  I mean like really trusting Him.  My whole body cringed with conviction as I came to realize I do not trust Him as much as I thought.  The Lord brought things to my mind that I thought I had given Him.  I realized I had taken them back and now they were weighing me down like heavy chains.  I realized I have God in this box that says "You o Lord can handle everything except this, this, and this."  To think that I have not been trusting my precious Jesus is a horrible feeling.  My prayer turned from "where are you" to "help me overcome my unbelief!"  I prayed that prayer throughout the rest of the conference.

On the last day, I didn't want to go.  Last year there was so much comfort that the Lord poured out on me.  This year it felt like I had been beaten to a pulp.  My heart was weary instead of energized.  I left Passion this year feeling confused by my experience rather than rejuvenated. 

It just didn't make sense.  God had clearly made the way for me to go.  So why would He make it be like that?  Why would He do this to me?  To be honest, I felt hurt by Him more than anything.  I had been convicted, but I didn't change overnight.  I left Passion still carrying fear and doubt.

My drive home was long.  I mean literally not figuratively.  It was about a five hour drive because of traffic and construction.  I knew I needed to talk to Him about it.  I knew He could see and feel what was going on inside my heart.  So, I did.  I laid it all on the table.  There were things deep inside me that I had not ever talked to Him about, and so I poured out my heart to Him.

And my friends, I just to have to tell you the Lord is good.  He always has been and He always will be.  There I was, a complete mental and spiritual wreck and He came in to meet me there.  He can handle fears and doubts.  There is no so such thing as being too far gone while there is still breath in your lungs.  Let me say this again: THE LORD CAN MEET YOU WHERE YOU ARE.  HE CAN HANDLE IT.  So go to Him in prayer, dear friends.  He is beckoning to you.

As far as the whole trust issue, I still have a long way to go.  But now that the conference is behind me, I can definately see that the things the Lord did and is still doing in me are all good things.  He is refining me, and I am so thankful. 

There is so much more I could say...

My family group this year was amazing.

I may have a different career path ahead of me than I originally thought.

Slavery still exists, and there are things you can do to help end it (enditmovement.com).

The Lord is faithful even when we are faithless.

More on these things later.  Until then, I leave you this truth:

"Trust in Him at all times, o people; pour out your hearts to Him, for God is our refuge."  

-Psalm 62:8