He appeared and the soul felt its worth

 

O Come, O Come Emmanuel

O come, O come, Emmanuel,
And ransom captive Israel,
That mourns in lonely exile here
Until the Son of God appear.

Rejoice! Rejoice!
Emmanuel shall come to thee, O Israel.

O come, Thou Wisdom from on high,
Who orderest all things mightily;
To us the path of knowledge show,
And teach us in her ways to go.

O come, Thou Rod of Jesse, free
Thine own from Satan’s tyranny;
From depths of hell Thy people save,
And give them victory over the grave.

O come, Thou Day-spring, come and cheer
Our spirits by Thine advent here;
Disperse the gloomy clouds of night,
And death’s dark shadows put to flight.

O come, Thou Key of David, come,
And open wide our heavenly home;
Make safe the way that leads on high,
And close the path to misery.

O come, O come, great Lord of might,
Who to Thy tribes on Sinai’s height
In ancient times once gave the law
In cloud and majesty and awe.

O come, Thou Root of Jesse’s tree,
An ensign of Thy people be;
Before Thee rulers silent fall;
All peoples on Thy mercy call.

O come, Desire of nations, bind
In one the hearts of all mankind;
Bid Thou our sad divisions cease,
And be Thyself our King of Peace.

index cards

 Okay, I just have to share this!  First allow me to give you some context.  I have dealt with more shame and guilt in the past year and half than ever before in my life.  These past few weeks have really been brutal on my heart.  Tonight I came across an old journal entry by accident.  Don't you just love it when that happens!?  I do.  Okay, so I wrote it below for you to read.  Wow, my mind is so blown by God's faithfulness.  I really needed to be reminded of this. May it encourage you as it did me.

 March 15, 2009

I was in a room. It was white. There were file cabinets as far as the eye could see. Stacked to the ceiling. I opened one of the drawers. Inside there were index cards. On the index cards was written all the evil things I had done. On each card was the sin, the time, date and place committed. Every single sin I had ever committed was written on an index card. I had lots of index cards. I began reading them. As I read them a sting of guilt and sorrow went through the veins in my body. I sobbed until I couldn't breathe. I sobbed and sobbed over them, such sorrow overcame my being. This man walked up to me. I was so embarrassed because it was obvious I had been crying. He looked at me, then at the cards I had pulled out and were now spread all over the floor. He began to read each and every one. There is no greater shame a human can endure. I was so disgusted with myself. I'm not sure how but I know he knew they were things I had done. I hid my face with my hands, too ashamed to look him in the face. Then He did the unthinkable. He took a red pen from his coat pocket. He drew an X on the card and signed his name. He did this for each one. Each time he got some kind of injury. Once it was stripes across his back, the blood seeped through his shirt. Then it was marks on his face, like he had been struck many times over. Next it was around the top of his head. Like thorns had punctured his head. Though the pain on himself kept coming, he kept writing his name on my index cards. With each one he said to me "I love you, won't you love me back?" "I love you, love those around you in the same way" "I love you, talk to me" "I love you, spend some time with me today in my word" "I love you, now love me in return" He finished the cards after what seemed like ages. Then he took me in his arms and gave me a power hug if I've ever had one! He wiped my tears and when I looked at him again, I only saw scars. He said "follow me" then he walked away and I followed him. I strayed from Him sometimes and I still made index cards. Oh trust me, I still made them. But he was always there, waiting to welcome me back. Waiting to remind me of his never ending love.

Come Thou Long Expected Jesus

Come, Thou long expected Jesus
Born to set Thy people free;
From our fears and sins release us,
Let us find our rest in Thee.
Israel's Strength and Consolation,
Hope of all the earth Thou art;
Dear Desire of every nation,
Joy of every longing heart.

Born Thy people to deliver,
Born a child and yet a King,
Born to reign in us forever,
Now Thy gracious kingdom bring.
By Thine own eternal Spirit
Rule in all our hearts alone;
By Thine all sufficient merit,
Raise us to Thy glorious throne.

- Charles Wesley, 1774

a new season

Well, Thanksgiving came and went.

The holiday shoppers extracted every last door buster on that glorious Friday.

ABC Family did a count down to the count down to the 25 Days of Christmas.

And now it's December 2nd.

This is the first holiday season where I feel more sad than joyful.

Last year's Christmas season was emotional, yes.

My beloved cousin got married.

I turned 21.

My best friend came home after being gone 11 months.

But those were all good things.  Emotional, yes; but good.

This Christmas season, a part of my heart is missing.  I buried her this past summer.  It may sound crazy, but I can't wrap my mind around a Christmas Day without her.  I cried a lot over Thanksgiving, because I miss her so much.

This Christmas season, I will choose to be thankful in the moments when I want to wallow in my self pity.  

I am thankful that my parents are alive. 

I'm thankful I did not lose a grandparent this year.  

I am thankful for each of my brothers, 

and the laughter we will share over the holidays.  

I am thankful for Jesus,

and everything He is.

"Be joyful always."

-1 Thessalonians 5:16

the F word

In light of recent elections and the upcoming holidays...I decided to write about the F word.  That's right, I decided to write about the future.

Tomorrow I'll head home for my last Thanksgiving break as an under-grad.
Time seems to be getting faster, or perhaps I'm just getting older.
I only have a few months left until I graduate.
I'll have a college degree in hand and be off in the world to figure out what I should do with my life.
But really I guess you might say I'm already there.
Trying to figure out what I want to do, that is.

A lot of people get hyped up and stressed out about their future, especially when that graduation date ebbs closer.  SO many people have asked me about my plans now that I'm a senior.  I don't mind it though.  I'm thankful to have people in my life that take an interest in my future.  But at the same time it feels like an never ending cycle. Allow me to elaborate:

High school- where are you going to college?  where are you going to college?  where are you going to college?

Freshman year- what are you gonna major in?  what are you gonna major in?  what are you gonna major in?

Sophomore year- you have time to decide a major, but not too much time so hurry up and decide already!

Junior year- You better like what you're in, you're in too deep now...

Senior year- where are you going?  where are you gonna work?  where are you gonna live?  you're an adult now.

So many questions.
There is so much unknown.
So many plans! 
My goodness, how we humans like to plan things out.

I've decided not to worry too much about that little thing known as the "future."  God has it worked out, and me making plans isn't going to change that.

What do we think?  Do we seriously think He is up there thinking, "oh man, I hope she makes the right decision here.  This is it!  If she messes this up, she's off the path and I can't help her."  What a pitiful god that would be if that were true.  To think that God is limited by your decisions is prideful.  He is not limited by you.  Quite frankly, He doesn't even need you.  Did you hear that? God does not need you.  He is perfectly capable of making the world go round without you. 

Four years ago if you told me I would be where I am, doing what I am doing I probably would have laughed at you.  Told you that is the most ridiculous thing I'd ever heard and I would never do that.  Never ever! But here I am, doing it.  And it has been one of the hardest, scariest, most heart wrenching, best things I've ever done.

I've been thinking about Esther a lot lately.  She had to decide if she was going to go tell King Xerxes that his right hand man was planning to destroy her people.  This could have cost Esther her life, which wouldn't have done anything to help the Jews.  Her cousin, Mordecai, told her "For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance for the Jews will arise from another place, but you and your father's family will perish. And who knows but that you have come to royal position for such a time as this?" (Esther 4:14). 

God would have delivered the Jews.  He wasn't going to be in a jam if Esther said no.  He simply would have used another method to accomplish His will.  It's kind of the same with us.  God is going to accomplish His will, regardless of you, regardless of who is president, regardless of which career path you choose.  He is going to do it.  Human beings are incapable of stopping Him.  We simply don't have that power.  He is the all-powerful one, not us. 


So if you are freaking out because you don't know what you want to do with your life or you think our country is going to hell, don't worry.  The world isn't going to fall to shambles because you decided on this path instead of that one.  The world isn't going to fall because of who is in our political offices.  We don't have that much power, my friend.  The world will only fall to shambles when God says it's time. 

 Perhaps then, you are asking yourself that if this all true, why should you obey Him?  I mean, if He's going to do what He sees fit regardless of us, why does it matter?  Not so fast there, dear.  We still should obey Him.  You want to know why?  Not because the fate of the world rest on your shoulders, but because He loves you.  Wait, what?  Obey because He loves you?  Yep.  That's right.  Jesus said, "If you love Me, you will obey what I command" (John 14:15).  Your obedience to God should be out of a deep and passionate love for Him, not out of the fear of what will happen if you don't.  Plus, there are countless blessings that come from obeying Him.  If Esther had decided not to go before the king, God would have rescued the Jews, but she and her family would have perished.  She would have missed the blessing.

So, let's sum this up.  Whoever you are, whatever you're facing, whatever your fears are, know that God is sovereign.  He is the Almighty One, and He can bring glory out of any situation. 


"In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps." -Proverbs 16:9

Jesus said, "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life...Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?...So do not worry...your heavenly Father knows [what] you need...seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."  -Matthew 6:25-34

Enjoy!