tough love

He was having a rough day.

He was tired, kept awake by the storms. 
He was wound up by the rain and serious lack of outdoor playtime.
In short, he was grumpy and had struck my last nerve.

I told this six year old he had one more chance to do the right thing or I was sending him to the principal.  I used my mean teacher voice (laugh all you want, but I've got one.  Its hidden deep inside my vocal cords like a beast that's awakened only when my kids misbehave).  

He returned to his seat and pouted his little heart out.  I ignored his huffs, puffs, and groans of agony.  Little kids can be incredibly dramatic.

I continued working with my small group.

Later when there was some hustlin' and bustlin' the six year old walked over to my desk.

"Miss Emily," he begins in a tone of voice which is surprisingly calm.

"Yes?" I respond while looking over at this little person standing next to me.

"I've decided you must not really care about me because you won't let me do [x,y,z]."

"I do care about you, [student's name].  That is why I make you follow the rules.  If I didn't care about you, I'd let you do whatever you want."

"No, you don't.  I don't love you anymore and I don't like you."

"That is fine, [student's name].  You don't have to like me.  But how you feel about me does not change the fact that I care about you and want what is best for you.  We have rules for a reason.  Rules keep us safe...etc, etc."

He let it go at that and we went about our day.

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I am like my kids in so many ways.  Maybe that is why I like being around them so much.  One huge way is that I think the same way this little boy does. 

I get caught up in my circumstances and what is happening around me.  I have good experiences and equate them with God's love.  I have bad experiences and question what it is that I have done wrong.  I wonder why His love is not with me like it was when that great thing was happening.

Much like that kid, I tend to think His love is me getting my own way.

The truth is His love is with me on the good and bad days.  When I have a day of pure bliss, His love is there.  When I have a day of darkness and pain, His love is there.  When I am in pain over my sin, that is HIS LOVE. (I'm talking conviction of the Holy Spirit, which is not to be confused with condemnation from the enemy).

What I see in my circumstances is not an indicator of how much God decides He wants to love me or pay attention to me that day.

Our actions, good or bad, do not determine God's love for us.   He loves us in spite of us.  Just like I cared for the little boy in my story.  I meant it when I told him I loved him regardless of how he felt about me.  Even when we are huffing and puffing, His love is there.  His love is constant.  It is not altered by what we do or don't do.  His love for us is not based on us.  His love for us is based on Jesus. 

"This is love: not that we loved God, but that he 

loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins."  

1 John 4:10

“My child, don’t make light of the Lord’s discipline, and don’t give up when he corrects you. For the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes each one he accepts as his child.”  As you endure this divine discipline, remember that God is treating you as his own children. Who ever heard of a child who is never disciplined by its father?  If God doesn’t discipline you as he does all of his children, it means that you are illegitimate and are not really his children at all.  Since we respected our earthly fathers who disciplined us, shouldn’t we submit even more to the discipline of the Father of our spirits, and live forever?"  

Hebrews 12:5-9

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So, the next time you experience some tough love from our gracious loving Heavenly Father may it be thanksgiving on your heart.  May you recognize and see glimpses of His love for you in the middle of the discipline.  I do not think that is possible on our own, but with God all things are possible. Matthew 19:26

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 Later on in the school day, the boy came over to me and said, "I love you to the beach and back, Miss Emily." 

I smiled at him.  

 

"I love you too.  I will love you even if you decide again that you don't love me or like me back."